Insecurity Creep

Hey babes. 

This is going to be a personal post. I want you to know me, the boss behind the business. To that end, here’s my biggest insecurities, out for everyone to see.

As usual, I’m humbled by the last few months. We’ve broken sales records each and every month this year. In all honesty I kind of feel like I’m addicted to the rush of it all. Watching sales roll in, launching new limited edition colours, and provided kick ass customer service. Exceeding expectations. I live for it. 

Photo by Tamara Clark Photography.

But I forget,a lot, to sit back and remember how incredible this whole journey is.

Journey: making a mental note to never use that word again, except maybe in reference to the 80’s band.

What I mean is, the fact that I have a successful business that supports my family is totally freaking awesome. I should give myself permission to revel in what I’ve created, shouldn’t I? 

Beluga Baby is also a business that I can be proud of. I created a product that makes a real, tangible difference in the lives of new parents. Here are just a few of the nice things that have been said about our wraps over the last few months:

“I thought I was pro-babywearing before now. I might just be a fanatic with how comfortable this wrap is.”

“When I tried the Beluga Wrap for the first time I cried. Being able to have her that close to me while I worked or took care of my other kiddos was so incredibly emotional for me.”

“Little did I know my Beluga Baby wrap would be the single most useful thing I owned in the newborn period.” 

“I've owned a few different types of wraps. Beluga baby is by far my favourite one! “

 Seriously guys? I could just cry. And I often do when I read your personal messages and reviews to me. Having a new baby is HARD. Like, harder than hard. And there’s just no way to be prepared for it. Even if it’s not your first baby, adding new life to your family changes the dynamic, changes you as a mother or father, changes your relationship with your partner.

Everything. All of it. Different.

And that’s hard. On top of caring for a new human, you’re also navigating into an entirely new phase of life. You’re discovering who you are, gaining confidence andtrying to find a few more minutes every day to sleep. GAH! I love sleep. I wish I could sleep 12 hours every night. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? I digress.

Photo by Eva Grace Photography.

The point of all of that is this. June is a slow month. It was last year, and it is this year. No records will be broken this month. That’s just the way it is! I’m not sure if it’s because in Canada June is the first reliably nice month, and everyone is out enjoying the sun. Or if it’s something else? Maybe no one has babies in June. Is that a thing?

Whatever the case, this month, just like June of last year, I feel like a bit of a failure. I feel like I’ve let the business down somehow, like I’ve taken my foot off of the accelerator.  

So yeah, feeling that insecurity creep in these days.

That’s all I really wanted to say here. That I’m just like you, some months are good, some months are not, and there’s never really a feeling of “I’m done. I can rest now. Beluga Baby is where I want it to be.”

Because it’s not. There’s so much I want to do with Beluga Baby. So many more ideas I have and families I want to connect with. I don’t ever want to be “done”. But that doesn’t mean that I should never feel satisfied.

So this month, in all its slow glory, I’m going to attempt to remind myself how fan-freaking-tastic owning and running my own business is. I have no boss. There’s no company politics. If I want to take a morning off to go to the beachI don’t have to ask anybody. It’s the dream.