Having a baby is a major life event. If it's your first baby, the changes you go through are monumental. Not only does your body become some kind of alien being that is taken over and utterly changed, but "mom brain" is real. And all those things you planned on "doing" after you had your baby like yoga, baby and mom classes, maybe even work? Those often get pushed aside for just trying to get through the day to day functions of having a bath by yourself, or completing a little laundry, while spending hours feeding, caring for, and soothing a baby, on very little sleep.
Old friends will always be important, but there's a reason people in similar stages of life flock together. You need support! The isolation that comes from being a new mother can make it difficult to find new mom friends. For me, just trying to leave the house in the first three months seemed almost impossible with all the diapers, snacks, and accruements that went along with my giant-sized new mom-bag of essentials.
You are not alone, and you don't have to be alone.
Babywearing can be a huge tool for getting out of the house. Wraps are small, portable, become super easy to use, and have the huge benefit of being a calming place for your baby! Wearing your baby can reduce crying by up to 40% ( hello conversations with friends). No more endless walks around the block in your stroller while your friends wait for you at the cafe. No more aimless trips in the car. Plus it's convenient and offers cover for nursing (if that's your thing).
Getting your baby comfy in a sling or wrap can also make it easy to hand your wee bundle off to friends, partners, or grandparents while you have a bath all to yourself (gasp!), put on makeup, do your hair, or just eat with both hands (so good)! My baby wraps allowed me to gain the confidence I needed to leave the house in a snap - or ok, less of a schlep.
Tips on finding new mom friends
Barring the much needed Bumble for mom friends (right?), here are some good ways to find others in your same stage of life.
- Reach out to old friends you've lost touch with who've had babies before you (and say no to the guilt you feel about losing touch in the first place).
- Join drama-free local mama Facebook groups (and avoid any judgemental groups like the plague).
- Find local mama events - meetups, sleep expert talks, baby store community events etc...
- Be friendly to other mamas you see out and about, offer help (not advice), give a smile, tell them they're going a good job.
Babywearing helps you get through that initial trepidation of getting out of the house. It gives you confidence and helps you get back to feeling how you did before you had a baby. You are still that woman, you've just grown and evolved into something new and cooler. Remember most other new mamas are feeling just as out of sorts and isolated as you, and many would be happy to respond if you reach out. Just sitting around is a HUGE part of the early months, and it's nice to do that with other mom's while you chat, exchange stories, give support for all the changes and share in the wonder of it all.
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